Hey guys!
It's Lay!
How are you all? I'm sorry for not posting last week but my youtube video basically covers why I have been gone last week. I was a wreck and due to emotional distress, I wasn't able to just jump into filming or writing. I also needed some time to think because I feel like since March I haven't been on top of my goals for this year. Clearly a lot has happened but I would feel sad if I haven't even made progress on anything I put my mind to. So I want to get back on track with my 2020 goals even though it's more difficult now. Here is a list of things I found that made it easier for me to focus on my goals again and I wanted to share it with you because it can help you too in 5 easy steps.
1. Reflect on what's stopping you
This will help you get to the route of your problem. Is the reason why you feel stuck internal (emotions) or external (your surroundings)? For instance, many people feel like they can't achieve their health goal because in some places gyms haven't opened or they can't eat healthier because certain foods are so expensive. Those are examples of external factors. When there are external factors like that you have to think of if there is any solution to that problem. For example, even though there are no gyms, there are workouts a person can do in the meantime without equipment and a lot of those ideas can be found on workout apps or youtube videos. If a person lives in an apartment so they don't want to make too much noise to disturb people, there are still quieter exercises like yoga, pilates, etc. and if they want it to be more burning they can go for a walk or a run through a boardwalk or park if their environment allows it. As for food, certain products are expensive so you don't have to make full changes right away. Start by adding more vegetables or fruits into your diet. Alter the way you cook your food. Instead of frying stuff, you could bake it in the oven which would make it less greasy and more healthy. For internal reasons such as emotions, you need to identify those feelings (Are you sad? Are you depressed? Are you unenergized? ) and what is causing you specifically to feel that way (Is it a person? Is it your home environment?). Once you figure out what your feeling and why you are feeling it, you can take steps to work through those emotional roadblocks (maybe you need to talk that person, maybe you need to set more boundaries).
2. Review your goals
This is usually easy when you have them written down. I personally keep mine on this blog for that sole reason alone. I wrote my goals in the first post of this year called "Happy 1 year!: Recap 2019, Welcoming 2020 (new year, new decade)". So if you are curious, I attached the link of the goals I made. I did it differently this year because I wanted to create general goals with multiple action plans so that way no matter what I would be making progress with my goals. When I looked back into my goals I realized that the goal I was doing the best in so far was #4 which was stepping out of my comfort zone. It is important to look back into your goals so you can acknowledge how far you've become. Even if you haven't completed a specific goal, just see what you made progress on because making progress is still an accomplishment. If you haven't made any progress because you wrote down many things to a point where you did not know where to start, go through your list again to see which ones you can still realistically accomplish. You can choose 3 or less to focus on and then act accordingly (this will be explained more in the final step).
3. Talk things out with someone
While there is are debates whether or not it's good to share your goals (personally I think it depends on the person and if they can motivate themselves without needing a push from others), it's always good to talk to someone because another person can give you insight on yourself that you may both have even notice. For instance, a best friend, a significant other, a roommate, or a parent may notice patterns that you don't see like how consistent are you with something, are you more of a planner or a do-er, how quickly do you burn out from something, etc. There are so many people can't see from their perspective which is why you need to listen to the people you are close to, love and trust about traits you have because the people who really care about you always notice the little things, habits good and bad. Those people will always have your best interest at heart.
4. Create/ Find something that motivates you
Before you can create something that motivates you, you need to figure what exactly motivates you. I was reading an article that gives you a list of motivations for your actions. The article gives you a list of 20 things and it's pretty easy to identify your biggest motivators. For me, my top 5 motivators are lifestyle, helping others, impact, proving others wrong, and change. So because those are my personal impacts one thing that helps me is making a dream board so I can remind myself of the lifestyle I want. I also find quotes to represent everything I want (if quotes help you, you should check out my quote gallery) Another thing is talking to my friends/ family to see how I helped them or reading old comments that remind me I do help people in some way and that feeling I get from helping others is something I want to feel my entire life. As for proving people wrong, I like to go sometimes look-back into the past (however never stay in the past too long) and remind myself what pushed me to want a better life for myself. I actually did a blog post about a year ago called "OD: Misery to motivation", I linked that so you can read more about that mindset. Lastly, my motivator for impact and change fall hand in hand because my life goal is to have my own company and the reason I want to do that is not only change the beauty industry but to have such an impact that negative stereotypes will be a thing of the past. I want to change the perception of short girls (they aren't commonly shown as models), of girls with normal bodies ("thick girls" in the industry still have a flatter stomach but typically have curvy features. People still make fun of women like Lizzo which is wrong. all bodies need to be accepted no matter how tall or short, how much weight a person weighs etc. people should be allowed to feel comfortable and have more people they can look up to in the industry), of men ( beauty shouldn't just be a feminine and there's nothing wrong with a man who wants to have nice skin or to glow like the star they are) and so much more. There many things I want to change and I want to be a huge impact because while the beauty industry (and fashion industry) have made strides there are still things about it that seem exclusive and it's just infuriating while they claim diversity, it's still so far to actually come. That is my dream.
5.Make a realistic action plan
Now that you reviewed your goals and acknowledge what is fueling that goal, it is time for you to make an action plan. Making an action plan is the "how to complete your goals" which is why it's so important. When I was making my goals making my goals and action plans, I made it tailored to me. I am a carefree spirit so putting deadlines on my goals personally makes not work toward them. In 2019, I had more goals, that were more specific and I think because of how I limited them and made them so specific, I ended the year feeling like I failed at the majority of things. This year because I did it more tailored to my personality, I feel like that is why I was able to make more adjustments that made me progress in every single one of my goals this year. An action plan that is realistic to me, won't be necessarily realistic to you. Some people need the pressure of deadlines and other's fall failure to it. It's all up to you, trust your own intuitions.
Well that is all for today. I hope this blog post answered your questions about goals and how to get back to them after falling into a slump. Never feel bad about having to step back from your goals because it happens to everyone. I feel like influencers try to make their lives look as perfect as possible and push a certain way to be successful but the truth is there is no one way to get where you want to in life and there's no way to be 100% all the time. Just do your best to be happy because in the end at the day that is what matters. You need to be proud of the progress and congratulate yourself on acknowledging that you need a change in your life in the first place. Some people live in denial, live in an illusion that they have nothing to work on. Even the people you see as perfect, has their own insecurities, faults, etc. because that's what it means to be human.
I just hope whoever is reading this is happy and living life the way they want to or simply just working towards it. Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, and share with friends and family. That would mean the world to me. Have a good day, evening, or night and be sure to come back next Saturday for another post.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋
My Last Blog Post: Life-changing lessons I learned 6 months into 2020
My Youtube channel (please subscribe): SimplyLay
My first video of the week
My second video of the week