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  • Lay Jordan

Happy 1 year! : Recap 2019, Welcoming 2020 (new year, new decade)



Hey Guys !

It's Lay.


I know I've been pretty inactive through my social media and on this site but that's changing again in 2020. There are so much changes that's coming and I can't wait to announce them at the end of this blog. As I'm writing this, it's been officially one year since this site went up and I had my first blog post. It was about lessons I learned from 2018 and the next post was my goals for 2019. 2019 was more a transitional year than a learning year because it was my last year of high school, I went to my dream college and just moved to a better place this year. So I'm not writing what I learned or what are my best moments since I have a gallery dedicated to my favorite moments of 2019 (one of the changes since creating this blog but I speak more about it at the end). Before we get into my goals for 2020, I want to recap how I did in 2019 by doing a glow (highlighting what I did well) and grow (the things I could've done better and how I can improve on it in the New year).


So incase you are curious about what my goals were for 2019, be sure to take a peek at my old blog post.


Glow

I feel like I did in certain resolutions. Specifically improving my mental health and becoming more optimistic were the ones I did best on since I used to be entirely worse to a point where I didn't believe things could get better. However ever since leaving that toxic environment, I was able to see more of the positive side of life. Also even though my mental health came in waves, it was never as bad as it used to be considering I was at a point of extreme depression where getting about of bed was difficult and I was struggling to do simple tasks like eating. I'm really proud of how far I've gotten because I didn't think I was strong enough make it this far but now I'm 100% confident that I am.


Grow


Even though I did well in certain goals, I felt like since it was so specific when I wrote them that it actually made it harder to achieve certain goals. At times it felt more so overwhelming because I had all these ideas of what I wanted to do as steps toward who I want to be and I feel like I pressured myself to do things to a point where I eventually I felt like it was too much. That's why towards November my motivation and energy just hit an all time low and I had to take a break to regain that energy again.


With that being said, for 2020 I'm doing more general goals because I was so overwhelmed with my 2019 ones. I want to work smarter, not harder this year and that way working towards my goals would be more efficient.


2020 goals


Goal #1 -Better Health Overall


Intention


One thing about me is a I struggle to take care of myself because for the the longest time I didn't see myself as worth it. However in 2019, I started to love myself more and more as the year went on and by December I realized I deserved a lot more than what I was giving myself. People always had so much negative to say about me to a point where I believed it. One of my biggest mistakes was allowing people who never even had a conversation with me decide who I am. I can't go back to change that mistake but going forward I can do my best to take care of myself because I'm aware that I deserve it.


My plans to achieve this goal


  • To get more sleep by heading to bed at a specific time

  • To be active for at least 30 minutes a day even if it's going for a walk

  • To have more me time so I can reflect, read or simple do anything to refresh myself

  • To eat healthier but to not deprive myself from the things I crave


Goal #2 - To be organized


Intention


I have an issue where I am organized for periods of time but one of two things happen. I either procrastinate because I have a lot of school work to do or something and I put off cleaning or I go into a bad mental place where I feel unmotivated to do things. Both are so bad and no matter what it is I still want to make it a routine to be that organized so I won't feel so overwhelmed to try to clean up after things would become messy.


My plans to achieve this goal


  • To put things back once I'm finished with it even if I think I'll use it again later

  • To do homework as soon as I get it instead of putting it off closer to the due date

  • To set aside one day for deep cleaning (mopping, sweeping, dusting, getting rid of papers etc.)

  • To make a schedule for myself so I can manage time between cleaning and tasks.


Goal #3- Being more spoken


Intention


This will probably be one of my most difficult goal because the other one I either took a step towards or have been successful in at one point of my life but this one is harder since it goes against my nature. I've always been a people pleaser. In some ways I knew that (especially with me being a libra) but when I took an Enneagram personality test confirmed it thanks to 2 podcast I've being loving ( Pretty basic and Unsolicited Advice). According to the test I am a type 2 (the helper) but I also could be a 2w3 (the host). I always put other needs before mine or if someone does something that hurts my feelings I would put aside my emotions so they won't feel bad. I have such an issue with confrontation that it just leads me to be like "it's fine" when inside I'm either sad or angry just because I want to avoid an argument. I hate how my emotions just build and build to a point where I just explode about anything and everything at once. I want to learn how to improve that issue because I want to keep myself in a better place mentally and if someone is constantly bringing me down and making me feel terrible I want to have the strength to recognize no matter how I feel about person, even if I care about them so much but if they keep doing things that makes me feel less than or question my worth, I have to take a step back.



To learn more about the enneagrams here's a list of links so you can read about it:

The 9 different types of Enneagrams

Type 2

Type 2 winged 3

The difference between 2w1 and 2w3


My plans to achieve this goal


  • To be honest about my feelings even if I feel scared to make someone feel bad over it

  • To not be so involved in other people's relationships and let them work it out themselves

  • To set boundaries with other people and make it clear what they are

  • To know my limit for being their for others (not sacrificing my happiness for theirs aka learning to say No)


Goal #4- Stepping out of my comfort zone


Intention

I feel like I've never been able to step out of my comfort zone because I went to a small high school where everyone knew each other from middle school and a few I knew from elementary school. Basically I always felt too scared to go through such a huge changes and do things out of character since it was such a small school. Everybody knew everybody and gossip travelled quickly. Now that I'm in college, I feel like I have more freedom to do thing out of my character to become the best version of my self.


My plans to achieve this goal


  • To start a project that I've been dying to for years

  • To start conversations first

  • To try things I wouldn't normally eat or drink

  • Try a new activity


Goal #5- To be more accepting to myself

Intention

I want to do this because I'm always too hard on myself. I feel like because I had an issue of dwelling on the past especially over situations that happened with people. I always blame myself when in reality, yes there are certain things I could've done differently but so could the other person. There is no such thing as 100% blame because at the end of the day we are all humans who grew up with different morals, who have different ideas of how things should me, who may or may not experienced something differently etc. Besides being hard on myself over things that can't even change, I also find me judging myself over grades, appearances, finances etc. and I realized it's just not healthy. Yes a person needs discipline in order to achieve their goals but they shouldn't be their own enemy. This world already has so much negatives with people who don't know you telling you how to be, you need to be your own friend in order to survive.


My plans to achieve this goal


  • To remind myself I can't change the things that already happened

  • To be accepting of compliments

  • To trust myself and my own intuition

  • To recognize my strengths and abilities

My word of the year: Unapologetic


The reason I decided to make this my word is because I want to become who makes me happy without feeling the need to explain why I'm doing different things and without apologizing for it because I know the people who truly love me will be happy at the growth I'm making personally.


Well that's all for today before I go I want to introduce all the changes that has cam and that is coming to the blog. So since I mentioned it in my intro I'm going to mention it again here. I had created a gallery and it has 2 pages so far: The best of 2019 (which has my favorite pictures and moments from 2019 ) and Quotes of the day (where I will post quotes once a day to inspire people or make them laugh). I linked them so be sure to click the underline words when you finish reading. Also If you follow my instagram (which you should and it will be linked so click the word 'instagram' to follow me), you'll see I got a new camera which means I'm going to take more fashion beauty pictures in my room instead of waiting when I go out so if you are more interested in the make up I do and the clothes I wear, most of those picture will be on their. Finally, the biggest change of all is that I finally got the premium package for my blog and I'm trying to connect it to a domain (so far it still say processing). I wanted to make it easier for people to get to this site as well as increase SEO and track it's progress through analytics.



That's all for today so be sure like, comment and share this blog post with friends and family if you feel like you've been inspired and also check out other parts of my blog and explore the links to learn something new. I hope you are having an amazing morning, day, night etc. whatever time it is and I hope you start this decade with so much happiness, love and joy.


Until next time,

xoxo Lay 💋

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