How To Stop Fearing Challenges
- Lay Jordan
- May 24
- 6 min read
Have you ever looked at a task and immediately thought, "This is way too hard for me," only to later discover it wasn't nearly as difficult as you imagined? You're not alone in this mental dance with self-doubt.
In Episode 51 of A Little Atypical Podcast, we explored the idea that what we consider "hard" is often much more manageable than we initially believe. The episode is available now on all major platforms, and you can click on one of the links below. To never miss a new episode, remember to follow (or subscribe for YouTube's case). Also, to help other incredible minds like yours find our growing community, it helps so much when you rate the podcast as well.
Episode No. 51
Where to listen:
If you are some who has ever held themselves back from pursuing their interests due to self-doubt or unconsciously spoke negatively about your capabilities, this episode is perfect for you. I highly encourage checking it out before continuing to read on since mindset is one of the most important aspects of your personal development journey. In this week's blog post, we are going to take it a step further to unpack exactly why this happens and how to shift this perspective.
Why We Get Intimidated (Even When No One's Watching)
I know many people expect me to talk about the fear of failure for the reason they struggle to do the things they deem as hard, but intimidation plays a major role as well. When we think about intimidation, most people picture an imposing figure or a challenging confrontation. However, someone might notice that some of the most powerful forms of intimidation are actually invisible. They're the quiet expectations that society weaves into everyday life. These aren't just personal doubts; they're the collective weight of societal norms, family traditions, and cultural narratives that silently shape what someone believes they can and cannot do.
For example, someone growing up in a family where their parents worked in nursing and teaching might feel an unspoken pressure to pursue similarly stable, service-oriented careers, even if their passion lies in entrepreneurship or creative pursuits. These expectations aren't necessarily verbalized, but they create an invisible barrier that can make pursuing less structured or traditional paths feel unnecessarily difficult. These inherited limitations are often disguised as personal choices, but they're the product of multiple influences: from family dynamics to broader societal expectations.
This nature of intimidation is not simply about confronting obvious fears; it's about recognizing and questioning the validity of expectations placed upon someone by their gender, age, culture, geography, and even historical context. These expectations form an invisible framework of limitations that people often mistake for their own inadequacies, when in reality, they're carrying the weight of multiple generations of societal standards and expectations.
The Curious Path to Confidence
Shifting your mindset from judgment to discovery transforms challenges into growth opportunities. This isn't just positive thinking, it's a practical approach that makes learning more enjoyable and reduces anxiety. When you view challenges as exploration rather than tests of ability, you break free from the pressure of perfect performance. Setbacks become valuable information that guides your progress, helping you stay motivated even when things get tough.
Here are some ways to reframe your relationship with challenges:
The "Curiosity Before Capability" Rule: Before asking "Can I do this?" ask "What interests me about this?" This shifts the focus from ability to genuine engagement, making challenges more approachable.
The "Future Self Interview" Technique: Instead of focusing on the challenge ahead, imagine interviewing your future self who has already accomplished it. What would they say about how "hard" it really was? This mental time travel helps dissolve present-moment anxiety. If it helps, you can even record it on video and save it to watch at the end of the year for a New Year's Eve tradition, or if you prefer, make it a birthday tradition.
The "Parallel Universe" Approach: Imagine a world where your current challenge is actually considered easy or routine. What would be different about that world? What assumptions or cultural beliefs would be absent? Use these insights to identify and challenge your current limiting beliefs about the task's difficulty.
The "Legacy Audit": List out all the reasons why something feels "too hard" and trace each reason back to its source. Is it truly your voice, or is it an inherited belief from family, society, or cultural expectations?
The "Difficulty Deconstruction": Break down what makes something feel "hard" into physical actions versus emotional resistance. Often, you'll find the actual tasks are simple - it's the meaning we attach to them that creates the challenge.
The "Permission Slip Exercise": Write yourself a literal permission slip to be imperfect at something new. Frame it and keep it visible during challenging tasks as a reminder that you're allowed to learn messily. This can be such a fun activity by having it side by side with your vision board.
From 'Too Hard' to 'Challenge Accepted': Your Journey Begins
Remember, every expert was once a beginner, and every skill you now take for granted was once "too hard." Your relationship with challenges doesn't have to be defined by fear or self-doubt. By approaching difficulties with curiosity, understanding your brain's protective patterns, and consistently practicing these new perspectives, you're not just solving problems – you're transforming your entire approach to life's challenges.
Ready to start this journey? Pick one thing you've been avoiding because it seemed "too hard," and commit to approaching it with curiosity this week. I'd love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!
I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also, if you like my content,t it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your mood. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired, and I will have more content for you soon.
Until next time, butterflies 🦋 Sincerely yours
Xoxo,
Lay 💋
Episode Description:
Struggling with self-doubt and negative self-talk? In this empowering episode, we dive deep into the psychology behind our fears and intimidation, revealing how these limiting beliefs are learned behaviors - not permanent traits. Discover why what you perceive as "hard" might just be unfamiliar, and learn practical strategies to transform your mindset from self-doubt to self-empowerment.
Through personal stories and powerful insights, we explore:
How society's performance mindset affects our approach to challenges
Why genuine interests persist despite our attempts to suppress them
The truth about building authentic confidence through action
Practical steps to reconnect with your natural curiosity and love for learning
Plus, stay tuned for our special Moonology card reading that perfectly aligns with our discussion on self-talk and personal growth. Whether you're facing career challenges, creative blocks, or personal obstacles, this episode provides the perspective shift you need to move forward with confidence.
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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4
Section | Timestamp | Notes |
Introduction: The Self-Defeating Voice: Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs | 00:00 | 🌟 Highlight:
Ready to stop letting self-doubt hold you back? Join me for an honest conversation about breaking free from what's really keeping you stuck. |
Human Nature and the Fear of the Unknown: Why We're All Intimidated by New Beginnings | 03:19 | 🌟 Highlight:
Join us as we explore why we often feel stuck and discover practical ways to move forward with confidence. |
Breaking Free from Society's Performance Mindset | 06:37 | 🌟 Highlight:
Ready to rediscover your authentic interests? This episode reveals how our true passions never really leave us, and shows you how to move past learned fears to embrace what genuinely excites you. |
Closing thoughts: Building Real Confidence Through Facing Challenges | 08:47 | 🌟 Highlight:
Ready to build authentic confidence through action? This section explores how embracing challenges and staying curious can help you develop genuine mastery and self-trust. |
Card Pull | 11:31 | Moonology deck
|
What I'm grateful for | 14:51 | What I’m grateful for is getting a bit of a reset. |
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