Aging: Learning not to fear it
- Lay Jordan
- Oct 1
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 7
One night, I was texting my friend, and as usual, we were sending TikToks back and forth. Spencer (@spencewuah)'s TikTok came across my feed, which isn't always common. On a few occasions, yes, but usually it's more political news (which is clearly more important), but this one was a screenshot of people romanticizing being in High School from 2015 to 2019.
Those were the exact years I started and ended high school. Even though I'm clearly aware it's 2025, it didn't completely register that I started high school exactly 10 years ago, I ended high school and started college 6 years ago, and I ended college about two years ago.
It's a surreal feeling to see the time you were in high school be so desired, but it makes sense when you note that class was the last grade to graduate without the effects of COVID. Still had a normal prom, normal senior activities, etc. While yes, I do think it was bad to experience during key college time when you are supposed to be used to the college experience enough to break out of your shell, I think the worst part is that it destroyed my concept of time and age.
I'm turning 24 in 21 days, but I don't feel like an adult yet. In fact, I feel the most uncertain about life. Growing up, I always had a picture of what adulthood was supposed to be like, as I did with everything else, from romance to friends to career.
I didn't picture my life at 24 would be so up in the air, where I find my views on dating and romance shifting, that I just figured out the type of role I would be most interested in doing after being out of school for 2 years, that most of my friendships changed after being in denial throughout college, and so much more.
I'm curious, though. If I dedicate myself in the next 21 days, will I finally get solutions and results, or will I find myself once again more confused than ever?
Obviously, only time could tell, but I realized something important: I'm not afraid of aging, getting older doesn't scare me - the aspect of aging that does is the feeling of reality not meeting my expectations. The aspect that scares me is dedicating time and effort and putting my faith in life, not to have the reality I desire. It's horrifying and mortifying to feel so behind and to repeatedly try, and try new ways to try, but still feel like you are stumbling.
Sometimes I sit there and pray for me to be guided in the right direction because I sometimes have a hard time trusting myself. But I've come to understand that this uncertainty is actually part of the journey. Everyone's timeline is different, and there's value in these moments of reflection that only come with growing older.
The general fear of aging is something that resonates with many people, not just me. Society often portrays aging as something to dread. Wrinkles appear, energy decreases, health concerns increase, and there's this looming fear of irrelevance or being left behind. We're bombarded with anti-aging products and messaging that make us feel like getting older is something to fight against rather than embrace.
I decided to embark on this 21-day series as I approach my 24th birthday because I wanted to document my thoughts through this process of transition. The "ABCs of Adulting" felt like the perfect framework to share these reflections. Structured yet creative, serious yet playful. It mirrors how I'm trying to approach adulthood itself.
Between personal struggles like still searching for a full-time position and the external pressures of what society expects from a 24-year-old, I'm working my hardest to genuinely feel like an adult by my birthday. Not because 24 is some magical number, but because I want to honor this journey with intention rather than anxiety.
Journal Prompts for Reflecting on Aging
When did you first become aware of aging as a concept that applied to you? Describe that moment.
What aspects of getting older bring you joy or excitement? List at least three things.
If you could write a letter to your future self 10 years from now, what wisdom would you hope to have gained?
What's one aging-related fear you can challenge today? How might you reframe it?
Who is someone older than you that you admire? What qualities do they possess that you hope to develop?
These prompts have been helping me process my own relationship with aging, and I hope they might offer you some clarity too. After all, growing older isn't just inevitable; it's a privilege not everyone gets.
---
"ABCs of Adulting: 21 Days to Get My Life Together” is a framework for simplifying the often overwhelming journey of becoming a functional, self-sufficient adult. It's a concept that breaks down the complex process of "getting your life together" into a series of manageable, bite-sized lessons. Each letter of the alphabet represents a different aspect of personal growth, a practical skill, or a key mindset shift.
I created this mini-series as a way to lead up to my final days of being 23. While I typically write extensively researched content, especially as supported content for A Little Atypical, I wanted to challenge myself to write from my heart and emotions for once. I tend to approach things from a logical standpoint, but this is my opportunity to step outside that comfort zone and share more personal perspectives.
This is the series list, and with every update, each one will be hyperlinked
Day 1: A -
Day 2: B - Beauty and Body changes
Day 3: C - Why people struggle with cleaning the clutter
Day 4: D - De-centering Romantic Relationships
Day 5: E - Embarrassment is no longer a factor
Day 6: F -Fate or Freewill
Day 7: G & H - Generational Trauma and Holding Space for Forgiveness
Day 8: I - Impatience has a hefty cost
Day 9: J - Justification Journey: From Excuses to Action
Day 10: K - Knowing: Who's Really Making Your Decisions?
Day 11: L - Lists That Keep Me Moving Forward
Day 12: M - Managing Emotions and Expectations about Adulthood
Day 13: N & O - Navigating Professionalism and being Open to improve
Day 14: P & Q - Prioritizing a life of Quality
Day 15: R - Ready: My word of the year for 2026
Day 16: S - Sleep is not one-size-fits-all
Day 17: T - Taking a Step Back and the Right to Disengage
Day 18: U - Uncertainty to Upgrades
Day 19: V - Visible: The Art of Imperfectly Showing Up
Day 20: W & X - What's Next? My Xtiles
Day 21: Y & Z - Saying Yes for more Zest