The biggest lessons I learned from high school
So I’m quickly writing this because this week and this weekend has been so crazy for me. This week I had so much senior activities like Monday was the last day of making up finals, Tuesday was color wars (but I didn’t go), Wednesday was Senior ditch day but I had things to do instead of staying with my class at the beach, Thursday was our senior picnic but because weather was bad we had to keep it in school which in some ways I thought was better (we also did year book signing) and Friday was our senior breakfast (which we also used for signing yearbooks too) and our senior send off.
People were actually crying so much. Tbh I didn’t cry yet because I feel like since I’m still going to see people this week at prom and graduation, that feeling hasn’t hit me yet.
Originally I was working on a blog called things to do in summer but since that this was the last time I stayed in my high school (technically won’t be the last time i enter the building because seniors have to pick up their diplomas June 26) I thought it would be a good idea to write about the biggest lessons I took from High school. I’ve been with the same people 4-7 years since most of us went to the scholars middle school and even if I wasn’t close to a lot of people I still had a lot of good memories with some. So here are just the most impactful things I learned in high school.
1. Nothing is forever
This can go either direction but I'm going to explain this in the more positive sense. Even though there are going to be sad moments in your life, it is not forever. Even if something seem like the end of the world, it isn't. You have to keep in mind even though it may seem rare to have happy moments, those are the memories you need to push yourself to remember. When you do that, you are way more happier.
2. Forgiveness is essential
Originally I was going to say "Forgive and forget" but then I started to think, I never want to forget anything no matter how bad it was because some things has taught me lessons that you can only learn through experience. In many case, it helped me to grow or just become stronger which is why never forget but also find a place in your heart to forgive. Forgive the people who hurt you, forgive yourself for your own mistakes and accept what has happened in your life because when things involve other people, you can't control everything. Remember, sometimes the timing is wrong and if you need time to grow on your own, that is completely okay because we can never tell what will happen in the future.
3. You can’t please everyone
This was something really personal for me because when I was little, I just wanted to please everyone. It was to a point where I couldn't even tell someone no and I was basically like a doormat. I couldn't stand up for myself but as I got older, I realized that wasn't okay. Starting in middle school it was easier to stand up for myself to people I wasn't close to but I still had a need to do anything to make friends happy no matter how much it cost, no matter how it made me feel personally. I cared about others more than myself and that's just a bad mindset have when you feel like your sole purpose is to just to make others happy and you aren't living for yourself. For the longest time, I was being the person my friends wanted me to be or being the person my family wanted me to be. At some point, a person just realizes living for others isn't acceptable and the person that you should be trying to please most is yourself. You have to be happy with yourself to be happy, you have to love yourself and respect yourself because if you don't, how do you expect others to treat you right? Sometimes you need to put yourself first and that isn't selfish. Self care is essential and as long as you are mindful of how you treat others in that process (still treat others with kindness and respect), it is more than okay.
4. There’s more people that care about you than you think
This one I added because prior to doing yearbook signing I didn't think much people would sign my year because how distant I became last year and this year I just completely ghosted. The amount of people who signed my yearbook and wrote more than "have a good summer" (which is the worst thing someone can write that's not an insult) or just " Good Luck in College" surprised me. The fact people had things genuinely nice to say surprised me. I may seem positive online and I act positive towards other people, sometimes I still struggle to see the good in myself because I always constantly worried due to my anxiety disorder. It's like there's a war inside me sometimes and that is why I just constantly bounce back and forth and have mood swings 24/7. It's something I really try to control but it's really difficult at times.
5.Coming together allows greatness
This is what I mostly thought of my grade this year. In past years, my grade has been very separated and kinda cliquey but this year we came together and honestly if we did that more often, high school would've been so much greater. Like in the past years we came in last or 3rd or even got disqualified for spirit week but this year everyone put in so much effort during spirit week and we came in first for all categories. Even ditch day people came together, I wasn't there but anyone who I asked about it said it was 100% good vibes and that's just the energy people should have all of the time. Just in general if people came together, not just high school students, the world would be a better place.
6. You are stronger than you think
There has been so many times that I didn't think I would make it because of how I was constantly struggling with my anxiety and depression. At one point I didn't think I would make it pass the age of 16 because I just wanted to give up. Now when I have bad times, I try to think about it in a more positive sense. I still will get upset over things. I still will go to a dark place a time but I also bounce back faster than I ever did. There is no hate or shade when I say I hate when people tell me how to feel. The way I see things and the way I feel don't make sense at times to others but telling me to stop feeling how I do or that I'm doing it myself is just counterproductive because I spent so many years shoving down my emotions and in the end, I think that what really made worse. So if you truly care about me, please never tell me how to feel because I know you are trying to help but it just makes me feel worse and makes me think about things a lot deeper than I should. It also makes me want to distance myself because how I feel is ruining your mood and I already feel bad enough without worrying about how me being quiet and kinda in my head affects others. If I allow myself to feel, the recovery from it is a lot faster because I will eventually remember how I've been through moments that I didn't believe that I would make it through.
7. Don’t depend on others
This sounds negative but it's really not. One of my biggest memory from high school is people not doing their part in group projects. It is the most frustrating thing about high school besides the presentations (I personally hate public speaking and I'm good at saying things to small groups of people or writing it down). This also apply to everyday life because I'm not saying people shouldn't be there for others but I'm saying you have to be responsible in your own life. Do not depend on others to pick you up when you're down, do not depend on others for your happiness etc. Everyone has their own thing going on and at times have to put there own life ahead of you and if you expect someone to always put you first, you are going to be highly disappointed because depending on situation sometime they have to do what's right for them and if you care and respect them you can only support them while worrying about yourself and your own problem.
8. Respect works both ways
I know there is stigma where you are supposed to respect anyone older than you but how am I expected to respect people who talked to me in a rude tone? This goes for people my age and older than me, respect is a two way street. If someone treats me with respect, I'll do the same even if I'm not fond of them. However if you are rude, I will stay as far from you as possible. If I need to work with the person who I find disrespectful, the conversation will be strictly business and straight to the point answers. If you can't treat someone with respect even if you don't like them, you aren't going to make it very far.
9. Don’t be afraid to take chances
I'm ending with this one because as I go forward in life I realized that the one thing scarier than taking chances is missing out on opportunity. I don't want to ever live with regret and in this life everything is a gamble: from your friendships, to relationships, to career etc. You don't know what is or who is good for you until you take the risk. One of my favorite quotes is "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". So always shoot your shot and if you don't succeed maybe it just wasn't meant for you and even if you don't see it at the time there's always more out there.
I know this blog wash short but over the summer I will try to put my energy into this 100% but right now.
To any of my former classmates (if any of you ever read my blog), thank you for the experience no matter how good or bad because even the bad helped me to grow. I appreciate anyone who has been there for me and has made my high school more tolerable. So class of 2019, I wish you the best wherever you are heading and there are actually more people that I’ll miss than I thought.
To my general readers, thank you for reading and I hope you can incorporate my lessons into everyday life. Thank you for being apart of my journey and I hope you stay for the rest of the ride. Be sure to read previous blogs and don’t forget to subscribe for updates.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋