1/4 of 2020 Check-in
Updated: Jun 12
It’s been so long since I actually sat down and wrote. I did most of my writing in advance for February posts in January. I had a month off and wasn’t working so I wanted to focus on improving my site from just a hobby to more professional. As I’m writing this, it’s February 22 so it’s been nearly a month since I started my spring semester. I feel like there’s so much to cover in this post because I feel like so much happened in a short period of time. January was a great month for feeling refreshed and it proved to me how much I can accomplish with time. February was just a roller coaster but even if it wasn’t that good, there were still good moments and a lot of lessons and self-discoveries were made. I’m going to be vague about events that happened because I’m still healing and it’s too personal for me to talk about. I know people expect people in media to share their life but I feel like that’s a huge step to be that vulnerable. I have no issue saying that when things aren’t perfect because I believe in authenticity. I’m not always going to feel pretty, I’m not always going to feel motivated, I’m not always going to feel happy but one thing I’m learning is not letting the negativity overpower me. So with all that being said, I’m gonna start with how my mental state has been and thoughts been because it’s probably the most relatable but there’s a twist. Since I have a lot of time until this is posted, I’m going to update my thoughts so you can go through the process of emotions with me.
My thoughts lately
Like I said I’m going to be vague and just say a lot of people were upset because it’s more than just me so I want to respect their privacy. I was hurt in the situation in terms of I am a sensitive and words affect me because my mental health has been poor since I’ve been bullied a lot. Over the years I’ve improved on not letting people who don’t know me deeply get to me, but when someone you respect says something that triggers all those bad feelings that you already felt... I tend to take it personally.
So, me taking it personally because of my own beliefs and it shed light on how I was feeling in general. I may be a communications major but sometimes communicating is hard especially when you start seeing patterns. I love the people in my life but it’s so hard for me to be the one always reaching out. I don’t get an "I miss you” text or even a “hey”. People don’t check on me as much as I check in on them. The worst part is I would get an “I miss you too” but then if you miss me, why haven’t you reached out? It’s just a bad feeling to have those thoughts.
I feel like I’m slowly moving past those feelings and but I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety because I’m worried about my future. However, I’m happy that I bounced back from that funk episode and I’m trying to plan so that I can have a better March. Also, I’m planning a much-needed self-care day this weekend. I feel like I just need a day to clean up, reset my mood, get myself together and get back on track.
Last Saturday, I had the best reset day. What I mean by that is a self care day. I took one of the bath bombs I got from lush, the stress relief bath salt from Bath and body works , a lavender vanilla candle I got for Christmas. I put on a mask from Sephora and I spent the bath watching self improvement videos on youtube. Then when I came out, I fixed my hair, painted my nails and finished cleaning my room. Once I had time to sit down, I ended up sitting down to write out my goals for the month and plans to improve this site and projects I want to work on.
Spring semester 2020
So I thought I would wait to add a segment to this blog post so I can speak about classes. As I’m writing this, it’s about the 5th week of classes so that means I’m 1/3 done with the semester. It’s crazy how fast it’s going too. I feel like the Fall semester felt much longer and I remember that I used to feel more drained and had I worst diet. I can’t tell if it was because I was still adjusting or if it’s because I had more class days. This semester I only have classes 2 times a week on campus, on Monday I have a 3-hour gap between my classes and on Thursdays, I got a 2-hour gap which is amazing because last semester I had my classes back to back which was so bad because I wouldn’t have time to eat so I didn’t function properly. The other 2 classes are online and I’m doing pretty okay in them so far. I have no 8 am classes: Mondays are 9-12 and 3-5; Thursdays are 9-12 and 2-5.
I also really enjoy the classes I’m taking which are-
African American literature
Advertising and promotion
The most difficult classes in Psychology and Journalism. Psychology has a lot of memorization and it uses a lot of scientific terms. If you know me, science is not my strongest area so I find it difficult. Journalism is difficult because as a writer it challenges my writing. Being a blogger is all about putting your opinions out there but in journalism, you have to write in a specific structure and leave your opinions out of it. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy these classes though. I like those professors a lot and I am engaged in those topics. Advertising and Promotions is an interesting class because we talk a lot about brands and as a girl who loves shopping it just fascinates me how everything works in the industry. Mass communications is the class that always makes me think a lot because communication is the most underrated thing that people don't know how to do and my professor is such a kind, warm-hearted person. I appreciate taking African American literature and Jazz because it helps me dive deeper into my culture. I went to a school that the majority was Caucasian so they only taught us about the history they wanted to and in a way I lost that connection to the racial part of my identity and me taking these classes brings it back. Jazz also keeps me in shape.
So far I didn't have a professor that I dislike, even my professors from my first semester I still miss. For instance, my marketing teacher sent us an email for an event. She wrote a book and I really wish to support her but because I don't have classes on that day and the event is late for me to travel (it takes me an hour and 10 minutes alone on the train without delays). However, I would still love to support her because she is the sweetest person and the book itself is so cute with great graphics. It's called Swiping for Prince Charming and be sure to check out her Instagram.
I wanted to close off with this because it's going to be a short segment. I hope one day to do a full post on my journey. I work out as much as possible, sometimes I have to reschedule workouts especially when I pull a muscle from dance class at the beginning of the week (I have Jazz on Mondays). It's sometimes hard for me to see my progress because there's always such a stigma between health and weight that isn't necessarily true. They always claim if you aren't losing weight, you aren't making progress. You can work out 5 times a week, eat more fruits and vegetables, cut out drinking sugary drinks, and even set up an eating schedule so you won't eat late and still gain weight but it would be from muscle mass. I do get discouraged at times but when I remember that, it keeps me motivated to keep doing my best.
That's all for today and thanks for reading.
So be sure to like, comment, and share this blog post with friends and family if you enjoyed and also check out other parts of my blog such as my gallery. I hope you are having an amazing morning, day, night, etc. whatever time you are reading this and I hope you continue this year with so much happiness, self-love, and excitement.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋
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