Hot Take: Being Misunderstood is Divine Protection
- Lay Jordan
- Jul 15, 2025
- 8 min read
Have you ever wondered why we crave understanding so deeply? Why do we feel that sharp sting when someone misinterprets who we are?
From our earliest years, human nature instills in us a powerful desire to belong, to fit in, to be accepted. We see this reflected throughout our media: from children's shows emphasizing friendship to adult films portraying the pain of rejection. This universal yearning to be understood is woven into the fabric of our social existence.
But what if I told you that the very sting of being misunderstood isn't a setback, but your divine protection?
Sounds counter-intuitive, right? I know a huge part of our success and survival relies on being connected to others. Because let's be honest, feeling unseen or misjudged hurts. It triggers that primal fear of being 'other,' leading to anxiety, even a whisper of guilt.
I've been there, as well. One of my main coping mechanisms over the years has been retreating into isolation when judgment felt too heavy. But through a recent mindset shift, I've come to see this 'misunderstanding' as something powerful and protective.
This isn't about avoiding connection; it's about discerning true connection. I'll show you why being misunderstood acts as your ultimate filter, a strategic defense mechanism against those who don't deserve access to your authentic self.
I spoke about this mindset shift on Monday's NEW podcast episode, "56. POV: You want to live multiple lives in a lifetime", which is currently available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Podbean, and other platforms. You can find links to all streaming options through the Podbean link. The episode will be available on YouTube this Thursday, but until then, you can catch up on any episodes you've missed through our YouTube playlist.
The Benefits of Being Misunderstood
In this section, we'll explore the tangible benefits of being misunderstood, looking beyond the immediate discomfort to uncover the hidden gifts this experience offers. From accelerating your discernment about relationships to protecting you from those with harmful intentions, misunderstanding serves as an unexpected ally in navigating complex social dynamics. Each misinterpretation provides valuable information about others' perspectives and intentions, creating a natural filtering system that helps you recognize who truly deserves access to your authentic self.
Being Misunderstood is a Discernment Accelerator
We often hear the phrase "to be loved is to be seen." But there's a profound difference between being merely seen and being fully comprehended.
Imagine a filter, sifting out impurities. Being misunderstood does just that for your relationships. It's the ultimate test for who truly cares enough to look beyond their own biases and preconceived notions. Anyone can 'see' you; how many are willing to put in the effort to understand you?
This filter separates those who engage superficially from those who genuinely seek understanding. It shows you exactly how much effort someone is willing to invest in knowing the authentic you.
Protection from Malicious/Unconscious Intent
Here's the uncomfortable truth: Not everyone deserves a VIP pass to your inner world. When someone truly 'sees' your complexities (your good, your bad, your confusing bits, your insecurities), they hold immense power. A person with genuine intentions will hold space for your humanity. But a person with less-than-good intentions? They'll use that insight to feed their ego, manipulate others, or exploit them.
This reality isn't necessarily cynical. Sometimes people operate with unconscious bad intentions, unaware of how their actions affect others. Yet the impact remains the same.
This is where being misunderstood becomes your strategic defense. When someone creates a version of you that fits their narrative, it speaks volumes about them, not you. It's their projection, their need, their agenda. Your 'misunderstood' state acts as an invisible shield, deflecting these energies and preventing them from getting too close to your authentic core.
The Freedom of Unknowability (Authenticity through Obscurity)
In a world obsessed with being seen and understood, there's a profound freedom in being unknowable to some. It grants you the space to exist authentically, to evolve, and to grow without the constant pressure of external validation or the need to fit someone else's narrow perception.
Even those who approach the misunderstood with good intentions reveal important aspects of themselves in the process. Their patience and willingness to move beyond initial misunderstandings can indicate how they might handle other challenges in a relationship with you.
Pay attention to how someone's words, voiced thoughts, and actions align. Despite people thinking they're being subtle, there are always signs of their true intentions, even when you want to see the best in them.
"Until It's Done, Tell None" Philosophy
It's why I'm a firm believer in the 'until it's done, tell none' philosophy. Guarding my dreams and personal journey from premature questions or judgments isn't about being “secretive” or being “calculated”; it's about protecting the delicate energy required for creation and growth. When others misunderstand your silence, it's often a sign you're protecting something sacred.
I learned this lesson the hard way after excitedly sharing something important with those closest to me, only to watch it fall apart. That experience taught me why I react so strongly when people probe into aspects of my life I'm not ready to discuss.
Privacy has become almost a luxury in our digital age. Think about it: we're expected to broadcast nearly every aspect of our lives online. New job? Better update LinkedIn. Fun outing? Instagram story time. Started dating someone? Relationship status update. Working on a cool project? TikTok the journey. There's this unspoken pressure to document everything as it happens, leaving very little sacred or private.
I'm not against sharing (I do it too), but I prefer sharing things once they're completed or when I've fully processed my thoughts about them. It's like that quote I saw recently about how "privacy will be the ultimate luxury as social media continues to dictate how we get opportunities." That really stuck with me. We're trading our privacy for visibility, for opportunities, for validation... but at what cost? The constant expectation to share creates this weird environment where holding something close feels almost suspicious or calculated, when really it's just about protecting your energy and your process.
Sharing dreams prematurely invites judgment that can derail your progress before you've even begun.
Even within the bad, good can come: Love Island and Misunderstanding
Speaking of being misunderstood, I've recently been thinking about this in relation to reality TV, specifically the current season of Love Island (in 2025). While I don't regularly watch the show, several clips on social media caught my attention and led me down an interesting path of reflection.
What interested me most wasn't the show itself, but how production editing contributes to contestants being fundamentally misunderstood by viewers. The way scenes are cut, the moments producers choose to highlight, and the narratives they construct all shape public perception in powerful ways.
I felt this especially for Chelley. Though I was initially drawn to potentially watching because of Olandria and Amaya, I couldn't help but notice the extreme reactions to the Chelley, Huda, and Olandria drama. The discourse around this situation revealed something troubling: influencers like Adeline Morin calling certain contestants "punching bags" and Buzzfeed initially posting headlines like "Chelley's breakfast is a knuckle sandwich."
What's most alarming is how quickly people dismissed concerns about racism in these commentaries. As a Black woman, I recognized these patterns immediately. This type of commentary mirrors exactly what I've experienced growing up, comments that made me constantly hyperaware of how my actions might reflect on Black girls and women as a whole. I would be so afraid to be angry or upset because it would be so stereotypical, I felt like I couldn’t even have boundaries, I always had to intellectualize my emotions and try to force myself to have constant level-headedness, and even when I retreated to give myself time to not be so reactive, somehow that was still wrong.
Something insane to me is that people talk about how people are so “fake”, so “calculated”, but if someone shows authenticity in a way that does not align with their version of it, it is still met with villainization, even if what they know about the situation is limited. Another example can be observed from the General Hospital storyline, when the character Kai Taylor told Drew Cain what Curtis (the father of his new Girlfriend) was planning to do with Jacinda without even understanding the havoc Drew has been doing for honestly a year from flirting and sleeping with his nephew’s wife, manipulating Willow, making Wiley think his father doesn’t want him anymore and so much more while constantly claiming how he is the victim in all of this. I know that has nothing to do with Love Island, but honestly, I just needed to get that out because if you watch the show, you’ll understand how annoying the storylines have been.
Overall, the Love Island situation connects directly to our discussion of divine protection through misunderstanding. These contestants, particularly Black women like Chelley, are being misunderstood on a massive scale. But unlike our personal experiences, where misunderstanding can serve as protection, in the public eye, misrepresentation becomes ammunition.
Despite reality TV obviously misconstruing things for ratings, we must remember these are real people. The unconscious ways viewers talk down to contestants, especially contestants of color, reveal deep-seated biases that many aren't even aware they hold.
This adds another dimension to our exploration: while being misunderstood can sometimes feel like a burden, especially when it intersects with racial stereotypes, it still offers a form of protection and freedom. For women of color on the show like Chelley, Huda, Olandria, and Amaya, who were held to different standards, this misunderstanding reveals how people use others to reinforce their existing beliefs. Though mentally challenging, it provides valuable insights into human behavior. Observing this discourse has made me more attentive to how people speak about and judge those they don't know personally. In this way, even public misunderstanding becomes a powerful lens through which we can see people's true nature and intentions, a different kind of divine protection that helps us recognize authentic connections.
Reclaiming Your Power
So, yes, the next time you feel that familiar sting of being misunderstood, pause. Take a breath. And instead of shrinking, choose to see it for what it truly is: divine protection.
Embrace the quiet guardian of your authentic self. Let your inherent "unknowableness" be a powerful filter that ensures only those with genuine curiosity, patience, and good intentions can truly get close. Not everyone deserves that deep access, and that's not a flaw in you; it's a testament to your worth.
How has being misunderstood protected you? Has there been a time when you realized someone's misinterpretation of you actually revealed something important about them? I'd love to hear your experiences in the comments below.
Comments