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  • Writer's pictureLay Jordan

The Language of Love: Understanding the Eight Types of Love

Updated: Jun 2, 2023

Red and pink hearts. Rows of roses and boutiques. Chocolates and sweets around. Even before we enter the month of February, stores are plastered with traditional products.

Valentine’s Day is centered around love but people take it as to only celebrate romantic love. Love is a topic that has been around for ages of time, so it is only fitting to speak about different forms of love as my first Blogintines post.

Fun fact according to Ancient Greece there are 8 different types of love.

The 8 types of love

1. Storge: Familiar love

Truthfully, this is the first love most people experience. This is described as the love between family, especially parent and child.

Unfortunately, some of us may have horrible or toxic families, so this is a type of love a person can feel for people who became so close that they are practically your chosen family.

2. Philia: Affectionate love

This is the common love for friendship. This type of love some people find to be the highest form instead of agape or Eros because this love is a two-way street. The love shared is equal. Typically, this love begins through interactions between two strangers trying to find common ground.

Philia is what modern-day describes as a non-romantic partnership or platonic. Some people argue that having feelings of philia in romantic relationships is just as important for a long-lasting relationship because it sets a foundation.

3. Ludus: Playful love

“Ludus” in Latin means “game” or “school”, which is fitting because of how innocent this type of love is. This love is all about flirting and having fun. This is the type of love where there is so much laughter shared and it feels light.

This is the type of love most people experience in the “talking stage” up to the “honeymoon phase”.

However, in long-term relationships, it is important to still have moments of teasing or playfulness. It takes off the pressure and stress that comes with a long commitment and reminds the couple to find enjoyment and laughter together.

4. Eros: Romantic love

The word "erotica" is deprived from this word so you can imagine how it is described: passionate, sensual, and sexual.

Although, eros is slightly different than our modern term "erotic" because we often associate "erotic" with ideas or practices that are naughty or inappropriate.

Eros is described as healthy. Eros is common for people to show through physical affection: Hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc. It essentially refers to love between partners.

5. Mania: Obsessive love

One of the best examples of this can be Harley Quinn and the Joker. Mania is described as possessive and dependent, so in modern-day terms, this is toxic love. Some people don’t consider this an actual type of love.

Unfortunately, “love” like this exist. Sometimes it happens in a way that isn’t on purpose because it is so glamorized to have someone “obsessed” with you and when you don’t have a representation of what love is supposed to be like you turn to the media.

Other times, people treat emotions like a game and are very manipulative in order to make someone dependent on them.

There’s a theory that this love happens when there’s an imbalance of Eros and Ludus.

6. Pragma: Enduring love

This type of love is described as a practical type of love. This love doesn’t focus on attraction but on long-term interest. Some examples of this are personal qualities and compatibilities, shared goals, and "making it work."

Enduring love is founded on the commitment that comes from understanding, compromise, and tolerance.

7. Philautia: Self love

This is the type of love that comes from how yourself, your worth, and your esteem. This type of love has grown in conversation over the past year.

This type of love is important to grow in life to prevent people from bringing you down so easily. When you know your worth, it’s like armor to protect against the negativity of the world.

8. Agape: Selfless love

Agape is what is referred to as unconditional love. Some say this is the true highest form of love because its purpose is to foster “spiritual growth” but others disagree because love without boundaries or conditions can set people out to be taken advantage of.

Understand what you value to understand love

Love is a small word that holds so many meanings. It kind of puts pressure on it because we think it’s one thing when there is so much more than what we say it as.

The biggest takeaway from this article I want you to know is: Each relationship holds a different type of love. It can be one of these or it can be described using the majority. That’s why it’s not good to look for what love should be like because ultimately it’s up to you to decide what you value and learn what makes you feel loved. Also, what can you do to make yourself feel loved so you won’t become dependent on another person for what you can get from yourself.

As my content is created more throughout the month, I want to focus more on specifically "pragma" and "philautia". Be sure to come back tomorrow and share with people you know so I know what type of content helps you out the most.

Thank you for reading and if you have anything you want to see more of, be sure to comment suggestions or email me. Remember to subscribe to my Youtube channel, and follow my Instagram and Twitter to connect and stay up to date. I am excited about my next blog post so make sure you come back. Until then, there’s a lot more content on my youtube channel. I hope you have a good day, evening or night.

Until next time,

xoxo Lay 💋

PSSST: Don't forget to check out my latest content

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