Hey guys.
I know I haven’t posted since my March plan with me but I hope this blog gives some clearification why i haven’t.
Senior struggles
Okay first thing I’ll talk about it my school work. If you guys didn’t know I’m a high school senior so colleges don’t look as my grades as much the do junior year but you still have to maintain certain average point especially if you had scholarships. Most seniors get senioritis. That’s when a senior gets too lazy to do work in their senior year and their grade average drops but they don’t care because they fully feel done with high school . If I’m going to be honest I have senioritis in terms of being lazy but I still care to try to get decent grade.
All my grades are above 90+ except physics and economics. Economics it’s one of the hardest classes to pass because how she grades. We use website called Econlowdown but the quizzes on it some times have very little questions which means if you get 1 or 2 questions wrong you can get as low a 50% . That’s what happened to me this week because she grades off of accuracy , I took a quiz with 4 questions, get 2 wrong so a 50% and that was the one she decided to put as a test grade. Test grades weigh more than anything else. We took 2 other quizzes on Econlowdown and I got 80 on both but she put them in as quizzes instead. The less questions on a quiz the more anxious it makes me and I’m more likely to fail those . As for physics, it is mostly math and I wasn’t even good at math until I took precalc because I had a much better teacher who explained things clearly. Either way I never liked science and as someone who is basically trying to do a profession that mostly requires English (journalism, fashion journalism to be exact) , I find science just insignificant. I never been a huge fan of science.
Moving on from my mini rant , I had so much projects and tests. I’m trying to maintain the grades I have or increase them so my overall can still be above 90.
Fake people, drama and negativity
It has been hard to focus on school because of all the negativity. In the next part, I’ll talk about how I’ve been dealing with it but I’m just gonna to address the issues in general.
It’s such long story: I had a best friend but we had a falling out between me and 2 of our common shared friends. I’m still close friends with the 2 other girls but the girl who was my best friend were not close. Her ex boyfriend was my guy best friend especially after the falling out we grew close and at some point after the falling out , my feelings grew for him. My relationship with him was complicated with him because we were both really flirty but oblivious to it at the time. I really didn’t want to fall for him out of respect for my ex best friends because even after everything that happened I still cared about her more than anything. All of last year me and my ex best friend went back and forth and was just in a weird place but never went back to being friends officially. Because I still had respect for even after hearing things about how she betrayed me during our friendship by flirting with a guy she knew I had a huge crush on, I was honest with her after I told the guy the truth about how I felt about him. He was fine with it until the day me and her talked and they both stopped talking to me.
Clearly something huge happened and I’ve been figuring out bits and pieces. Basically her and her new “best friends “ (people she used to talk about badly and even she wanted to cut one of them out of her life ) ruined my relationship with the guy and me and the guy still haven’t talked since. I have whole different story with this other guy that connects with different but I’ll save it for another time. Sorry if this wasn’t clear and really confusing but it’s hard to tell this story without naming people and in general it’s just so personal. I know people would think me catching feelings for her ex was wrong but honestly we weren’t friends at the time when anything started. Also, she flirted with my crushes knowing how I felt when we were friends and some people would agree that’s worst given we were supposed to be best friends. I’m not saying I haven’t done wrong , I have apologized and tried to make things right but she never takes responsibility for the things that hurt me. This week every care that I had for her left my body. There were so many times I thought I was done with her but this time i really mean it. All the good I saw in her is gone and I’m fully ready to move on.
Growth
Ever since the drama and the stress happened. My mental health has been pretty bad if you read my posts on Instagram. I lacked so much motivation I haven’t even been working out. However even with my physical health being on hold, I still made sure to take action for my mental health . I’ve been going back to therapy to talk about all the drama and work on my self so I can move forward. I hope to work on physical help soon.
Random new updates
-I got my prom dress
-I got the new Anastasia Rivera palette
-I finally got my camera so hopefully I can take some quality photos for Instagram
-I made an twitter account (@simplylayxx)
-I am cat sitting for my older brother this week
- I started a new show called Lucifer (it’s so good)
- I need sleep
I hope this helped to clarify things. Don't forget to read previous blogs and share with your friends and family.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋