Hey guys.
It's Lay!
It is currently 3 am as I write this because I am having a difficult time fixing my sleep schedule. I recently just posted my New years resolution as my blog and I decided it would be smart to get a head start on my blogs for this month. I feel really inspired at the moment so there is no better time to start working on things.
The reason I wanted to be the first blog after my resolutions was because towards of the end of the year I got really burned out because I was so focused on creating content that other people like that blogging became more of a chore than something I loved to do. I also felt like I was so focused on a number because deep down I wanted that validation. So once I took a step back I was able to clearly think about what I wanted to do this year.
New beginnings just gives that extra push to take actions to do things. That is why I am one of those people who loves the new year. Yes, everyday is a new beginnings but there is just something about new year that gives me the extra motivation. This one to me was really special to because in some ways it was the end of an era.
I started 2010 about 9 years old so I was about in 4th grade 1 year from graduating from elementary school. 2012 I started middle school and that was a crazy start cause by October 2012 Hurricane Sandy hit and it really affected my school because it was on the beach. I stayed in that school from 2012-2019 with the same people and the stories I have from that time of my life was just crazy, stuff you think you would only see in movies but it was real. Dealing with compulsive liars, bullying, racism, losing friends, heart break, plot twists etc. Trust me, I experienced it all. Then at the end of 2019 finally getting away from all of that and going to a place I feel more connected to myself. My middle school/ high school had many bad things about it but the one of the most positive things about it (besides meeting some of the best people I know that stuck with me through all the bad) is that the school education wise was really good because they challenged you. Overall, I felt like I was challenged in more ways than one. Funny enough I used to see this as a negative but now I kinda see it as meant to be because for a diamond to transform from coal it need to experience high pressure. I know a lot of people out there may be experiencing bad times but just remember all of the bad stuff as much as it sucks, it is also making you who you're meant to be.
And that my friends is personal growth.
I am fully aware of all the bad going on in the world and I'm not ignoring it when I talk about the positive. I'm just sick of being negative all the time and if I were to stay negative, I would go insane trying to understand why is there so much happening. The truth is everything is a cause and effect. For example, because you decided to walk to the grocery store instead of taking an uber or taxi, you found $20 on the ground. Even though that example was positive it works the same way with negative situations as well.
And honestly I'm excited to see how far I go in this period of time. Of course, there are factors but I'm at the age where most people are just really starting their lives since most of us are in college, working or serving. Over this time a lot could happen: traveling, being successful in your career, moving out, buying a home, being married, having kids etc. The possibility is unknown. While it's exciting , it's also completely terrifying because good and bad things could happen and there is only so much you have control over.
So my best advice is to take advantage of what you have control over which is you. It is your decision to start a project you've been dreaming about, It is your choice what you decide to eat, It is your choice if you want to stay at a 9-5 job and it all leads to different paths.
For my own path, I want to be fearless and unapologetic about who I am. I talked about this in my last post but didn't go that in depth. I feel like I want to take this blog more seriously as well as try out different projects like youtube. Since I don't have a job at the moment I really want to make use of my time. I have such a deep interest in things like social media, taking pictures, editing etc. Growing up I was such a fangirl so being online came natural to me but when I hit middle school I feel like I was more careful with what I love to do because I was already being bullied. I didn't want to give more ways for people to make fun of me so I just didn't and besides that I also feel like I didn't have the resources to start a channel. And even now I lack the idea of the type of Youtube personality I would be. In some ways I am terrified but I also know there's no perfect time to start. I just have to start thing even if I'm at risk of failing, I'll keep going at it because it is truly something I want.
So that's all for my little rant on new beginnings. I truly hope it inspired you because that's one thing I wish I had more. When I was in the last decade, I spent so much time keeping things to myself and that is what broke me. Thanks to this new year I feel the motivation to do what I need to be the happiest version of myself.
Be sure like, comment and share this blog post with friends and family and also check out other parts of my blog . I hope you are having an amazing morning, day, night etc. whatever time it is and I hope this decade is filled with so much happiness, love and joy.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋