Let's Talk about Body Image

Body image is a topic that can be difficult to discuss because of the multiple views and perceptive. I wrote reminders about body image not to long ago and I decided to share my own personal experience of body image in a youtube video.

The video has the less detailed version of my story but it's easier for people to follow. So for the rest of this article I wanted to add a trigger warning because this post discusses body dysmorphia, bullying, self harm etc. If you are experiences of these things please speak to a professional.

Key Take Aways

1. Everyone has their own struggles and insecurities

2. You don't know what a person goes through

3. Words can do just as much damage

4. Learning to love yourself is a process

5. Be kind to other people

6. You determine your own labels

7. Fashion and style shouldn't be limited by size

8. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident instead of what's trending

For a more description on the topic be sure to check out the video above and subscribe to my youtube channel to get the personal side of me.

I really missed having more authentic sides to my content on my blog and I felt like this is the best way to build a connection with he audience because I want people to feel like they aren't alone. Additionally with a video like this there was so much I could not say.

My story

Weight has always been a hard topic for me. I grew up with extremely poor eating habits as a kid. I mainly ate McDonalds, White castle and Frozen dinners. Part of me was really ashamed to admit this, but I also feel like this is part of the reason it fuels my passion for wellness.

I was the kid who was constantly told that I was obese, but I ignored comments from my pediatrician until middle school. I didn't really notice a difference until I was placed in school where nothing about me or my appearances were the norm. I was bigger, I developed faster than most of the girls in my class and I was bullied to a point where I was so disgusted with myself because the way people treated me I made poor decisions like starving myself. I threw away my lunches, skipped breakfast and sometimes even after a day of not getting the nutrients I needed to function . I skipped breakfast because I would throw up every single morning before school... it wasn't forced but turned out to be part of a symptom of anxiety (different story for another day). The words people said to me and behind my back had me shattered.

So I would go through this cycle of starving myself and binging take out, obsessively trying to push myself in gym class, crying when I looked into mirror etc. It wasn't until 10th I really started to try to eat healthier more often. I would look up meals on Pinterest and cook healthy recipes most of the time, I took hip hop dance classes Saturday, I started to wake earlier to exercise (this was more in the summer in between) before my summer job, I would walk to and from work, I would only eat egg whites sausage and whole english muffins and I would have healthy pasta dinners or turkey chili for dinner.

Looking back, I wasn't actually healthy. Everything I did was for all the wrong reasons, which is what made the lifestyle so unsustainable. Everything I was doing was so people could like me. In every show or movie, it always happened that when a girl changes something about herself is when she get noticed. Sometimes it's a physical thing like losing weight and other times is a personality thing where a women softens her personality.

Regardless I was convincing myself to be someone I wasn't and even now it's very confusing to who I am and finding that balance. On this blog, everything I put out is a learning curb and maybe that's my mindset for this point in time because nothing is guaranteed. I want to keep growing and expanding my views through experiences and just becoming more educated on things.

So returning back to to the conversation of midsize: It is a term that makes me feel comforted because I get fat shamed and at the same time when express my insecurity due to being fat shamed, in a way my emotions get invalidated on the topic.

I know this topic could be controversial but I would love to hear what are other opinions on this and why they feel that way. The thing is as people we need to accept that we will never have the exact same view as another person because we can't live the life someone else is living.

Remember to subscribe to my Youtube channel, and follow my Instagram and Twitter to connect and stay up to date. I am excited about my next blog post so make sure you come back. Until then, there’s a lot more content on my youtube channel. I hope you have a good day, evening or night.

Until next time,

xoxo Lay 💋