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Writer's pictureLay Jordan

Glow up & Self Care Culture: Is it toxic?







Episode No. 11




Where to listen:






What Inspired this Episode:



This episdode was inspired by my mini series about glowing up. I felt like this was the perfect way to get the societal view of the conversation. When we look at roles that we play, whether it's supporting certain brands, being more involved in how your kid uses their free time especially on social media and if it is possible to want change for ourselves without feeling like we are changing because we aren't enough but because we believe that we deserve what we desire out of love. I also wanted to use the bonus content to talk about beauty standards because in terms of when the toxic side of glow up culture, usually the desire to glow up stems from the desire to meet those standards. However I don't think we as a society ever fully speak about the how beauty standards affect our lives in different areas outside social media and wanting to no be outcasted.



Questions I wanted to explore:

  • What is glow-up culture?

  • Is self-care culture toxic?

  • How does glow-up culture affect mental health?

  • What are the benefits of self-care?

  • How to balance self-care and social interactions?

  • Impact of beauty standards on personal development

  • How does the halo effect influence perception?

  • Does social media promote unrealistic beauty standards?

  • What are the psychological effects of seeking validation?

  • How to engage with followers on social media about self-care?

  • How does capitalism influence glow-up culture?

  • What are some examples of toxic beauty standards?

  • Why is beauty important in society?

  • How to create a balanced self-care routine?

  • What is the double-edged sword of beauty?

  • How does appearance affect job opportunities?

  • What is the history of beauty standards?

  • How to talk about beauty inclusively?

  • Role of parents in managing children's social media use

  • Importance of mental health in glow-up culture

  • How does social media affect self-care culture?

  • What is the relationship between beauty and self-worth?

  • How can self-care culture be both selfish and unselfish?

  • What are the economic impacts of beauty standards?

  • How do beauty standards vary across different cultures?

  • What is the effect of cognitive bias on beauty perception?

  • How can glow-up culture be more inclusive?

  • What are the environmental impacts of the beauty industry?

  • How do beauty standards affect mental health?

  • What are some healthy ways to engage in self-care?

  • How do beauty standards influence social behavior?

  • What is the role of influencers in promoting glow-up culture?

  • How can we redefine beauty standards in a positive way?

  • What are the long-term effects of self-care culture on society?

  • How do beauty trends evolve over time?

  • What are the legal regulations in the beauty industry?

  • How does the pursuit of beauty affect personal identity?

  • What are the social consequences of beauty standards?

  • How can one achieve a mental glow-up?

  • What are the benefits of focusing on progress over results in self-improvement?

  • Why do people cry about beauty standards ?



Episode Description:



Is Glow up & Self-Care Culture toxic and Self-Centered? This debate is a tale as old as the internet, but I would like to offer a fresh perspective: Is Glow up & Self-Care Culture more toxic than a person who is miserable but won't do anything to fix it? Does Glow Up & Self-Care Culture really push perfection and products or are the creator who are still in progress of their goals not as pushed by the algorithm? Would glow-up culture look different if people didn't favor results but wanted to see the progress of people bettering themselves? What if people didn't associate glowing up with changing themselves but trying to learn to live a life that makes them feel fulfilled and aligned with themselves? Stay tuned and please read the highlights to get a more direct version of what I am explaining.



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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4


Section

Timestamp

Notes

Introduction + What I am grateful for

00:00

-The goal of the episode is to talk about whether Glow up culture and self-care culture is actually making people self-centered and if it is toxic to our society -No good experience of the week/ learning experience of the week because I'm in solitude -Grateful for contentment

Glow up culture

1:47

-Researching a lot on this topic -People argue that it pushes the idea we have to do more, change ourselves, erase childhood -What does glowing up mean to them -Glow-ups are personalized -Capitalism in glow culture -The process of trying -Self neutrality -The search of validation -The importance of a mental glow-up -We need to focus more on the people going through their journey instead of the ones who have their results -People need to take the content as more of this is what someone is doing without feeling that is what they should be doing -Parents should be more involved in what their children on social media -

Self Care Culture

12:14

-Does it push society more into an individualistic view? -Self-care can be as selfish and unselfish as you want it to be -My current glow-up is about health and boundaries -Self-care can save you from needing outside validation -Self-care allows you to be present and be a better friend -Social media only considers the results and not the things that lead to it

Conclusion

22:02

-Society is pressuring -Need to decide your expectations -Make your own -Need to be align -Your view on progress matters -Living as yourself



BONUS CONTENT-

The Double Edge Sword of Beauty



A few months ago in May 2024, I planned to do a YouTube video on fashion and beauty even though my content mainly is product development and wellness. You are probably wondering what beauty and fashion have to do with personal development but when both of those could be considered a tool for your overall wellbeing. Whenever I want to talk about beauty, I try to think about how to say it because it is a very sensitive subject. I also know how tiresome the conversation can get so I am going to save my opinion until the end and present some theories and subtopics.


Why caring about how we look is nothing new


I want to start here because one thing that bothers me is how Gen Z's "obsession" with beauty is presented as this new phenomenon when relatively it is not. Social media may have the effect of creating new trends, aesthetics, and insecurities every other day ( which is a different conversation for another day), but the idea of caring about looks shouldn't be treated like it's something that originated from it. Before social media, TV shows, movies, music videos, and magazines presented and created our beauty standards to subjectable teens as well. The difference between those modes of communication and social media is the rapid and overwhelming amount of information that people put out on there that may or may not tell the whole truth. Not to mention the standards we create for what is considered an "appropriate and put-together" look for the workplace and job interviews. One thing I learned about in college was something called an elevator pitch. My professor at the time spoke about this because he told us that people form an opinion about you within 7 seconds. Elevator Pitches are meant to be 30 seconds but it takes only takes 7 seconds for some people to form an opinion of you. It seems like a short time to give a good impression so how can we squeeze in more words? Well, if you believe a picture is worth 1000 words, then you may have a similar sentiment about physical appearances. Physical appearances can make a statement, but how that statement may be perceived is not necessarily up to you because of cognitive bias (which we will get into in a later section).


All I am saying is to some degree no matter what age you are, you care about appearances in some form (and I'm not saying that it's not an issue but this is more of a widening the perspective of the conversation of beauty that goes deeper than just wanting to go viral online and feel like you are apart of the trendy people). The obsession with beauty isn't a Gen Z problem because it doesn't just start or end with us. It can't be when there are people who go online to argue they look more youthful than the generation below them. It can't be when there are kids who feel pressure to dress older so they won't have accusations of being immature, boring, or plain. It can be when people constantly have opinions about a person whether they choose to dress modestly or not. It can't be when anti-aging products and pre-aging products exist because fine lines, wrinkles, age spots, and drooping skin have been labeled signs of an expiration period instead of signs of living long enough to experience those things.


List of subtopics about beauty culture


People talk about wanting to dismantle toxic beauty standards but are also not willing to talk about the subtopics that go into the subject:


  • Beauty and Geography

    • How beauty is in different areas in your country, state, province, etc.

    • What are the beauty standards around the world

    • Beauty in a Heterogeneous society vs in a Heterogeneous society

  • Beauty and its effects on your economic state

    • How the way you are perceived affects the way you obtain a job

    • How the way you are perceived affects the way you get a promotion

    • How the way you are perceived affects the way you build a network

    • Income and its effect on your ability to have beauty or maintain it

    • How sustainable are jobs that are dependent on your looks (acting, modeling, influencing, etc.)

    • How does the way you look affect how you are treated in different professions?

    • What job opportunities or financial opportunities come from people's cognitive-based

  • Beauty and Sociology

    • Beauty standards among different ethnic groups/ races

    • Microaggression against features / the effect of being exposed to things that weren't created for your features

    • Stereotypes and how the way people use their appearances to change the narrative

    • The history of beauty and trends and the circumstances of the time that created the standards

    • The difference between being shamed vs feeling ashamed for appearances and how it may affect human behavior

    • Generational trauma and the effects on beauty


  • Beauty Standards and Psychology

    • The Halo effect

    • Cognitive bias

    • The two extremes of being considered extremely beautiful and extremely ugly

    • How does feeling self-conscious affect your ability to show up in other areas of life?

    • The fear of being perceived as other

  • Beauty and environment

    • Ingredient sourcing

    • Product waste

    • The effect of consumerism

    • Is it possible to be inclusive and sustainable within the fashion industry?


  • Permanent beauty changes (Surgery)

  • Beauty and Identity

    • How identifying with aesthetics influences us

  • Beauty and Physical Health

  • The difference between glowing up and just experiencing puberty

  • Beauty and Culture/ Heritage

  • Beauty and Mental health

  • Beauty and Habits

  • Beauty and Hygiene

  • Beauty and Science behind it

  • Beauty and the business world

  • Beauty and Laws and regulations for products


  • Beauty and the way we talk about it

    • Communication and messaging from companies and brands

    • How can we uplift our features without tearing people down


  • Beauty and Diversity, Ethics and Inclusion

    • Disclose whether they have work done and are selling ways for people to be just like them

    • The use of Photoshop, filters, and AI

    • The difference between promoting certain standards/ behavior vs sharing what are doing or using it as online documentation


What is the Halo Effect


SimplyPsychology.org writes "The halo effect refers to the tendency to allow one specific trait or our overall impression of a person, company or product to positively influence our judgment of their other related traits." The article has so many examples that touch on different experiments so I provided the link (along with other articles I found to be interesting while researching).


The halo effect can have profound implications in various aspects of life. For instance, in the workplace, an employee who is perceived as attractive may be judged more positively in terms of their competence, intelligence, or reliability. This can lead to biases in hiring, promotions, and performance reviews. Similarly, in the context of consumer behavior, a product that is aesthetically pleasing may be perceived as higher quality or more effective, even when that is not necessarily the case.


Understanding the halo effect is crucial for both individuals and organizations. For individuals, being aware of this cognitive bias can help in making more objective judgments about others and oneself. For organizations, recognizing the halo effect can lead to more equitable and fair practices in recruitment, evaluation, and marketing.


Why this matters


Truthfully, I don't know if toxic beauty standards ever went away or simply if they just shifted to create another beauty standard. I also think when brands started to be inclusive some people who pushed against it either felt:

a. like they were being excluded

b. like they were being replaced

c. had difficulty accepting that their way of thinking may not be the only way (it's the same as black and white thinking- ie "if I believe one thing to be true or right, then everything else must be wrong")

d. were probably people who struggle to accept changes


[**I want to clarify I don't agree with their behavior but I will still try to understand their reactions**]


However, the list above I hope exemplifies that beauty is a lot more than some shallow pursuit. There are so many aspects of the conversation that are missing when we talk about it. I probably missed a few angles myself, but the point is our desire to be attractive is not anything new but stems from a history of unchecked conversations because many of them are also from topics considered to be taboo or make people uncomfortable to talk about.


I think the reason glow-up culture and self-care culture could be viewed as toxic at times is because of the unwillingness to look to reangle the conversation. Saying the people who care about beauty are shallow is ultimately unproductive when you aren't willing to look at the reasons they believe those things in the first place. Saying that it's a frivolous pursuit because it is subjective and ever-changing (which I agree it is subjective and we will have people who will and won't find us attractive and that our features change with time), doesn't change the fact that especially now in society with so much access and technology where everything we do is essentially looked at "as a brand" (which should be a study on how we ultimately dehumanize ourselves for a chance for others to perceive us as valuable) and how appearances can influence how people view you in different space of your life including the career space of your life.


Do I believe it should be this way? Of course not. It's sad things are this way and it's more sad when you have people younger than you in this life and you see how it affects them. So that is why in the conversation of beauty, nothing is off the table because to address this as a surface-level thing will only keep solutions at surface level as well. I do think when we are rapidly developing technology and tools we need to know how to talk about this so maybe it could be better.





Interesting research

 

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