Nov 165 min read

Calling in confidence & releasing insecure behaviors

Episode No. 20

Where to listen:

What Inspired this Episode:

At the end of 2023, I created digital open when letters as a way to give people a pep talk and for them to discover new affirmations. One I did was centered on "main character energy", which was an important topic for me, especially as someone who always felt like their value was contingent on another person. For people like me who often had their value tied to something else and were working on unlearning that, the topic was very important. However, someone left a nasty comment on my Pinterest pin (which gives affirmation about being the main character in YOUR life- which means not expecting yourself to be positioned as that in anyone else’s life... unfortunately we are in a time lacking reading comprehension). At first, I was genuinely upset that someone would say something like that, especially to someone who is recovering as a people pleaser but then I decided to turn it into a teachable moment. Many people do not understand how a person can have main character energy without it leading to narcissism and I wanted to share the difference between the two and focus on why a person should embrace main character energy to combat insecurities. Living a life where you are projecting insecurities is more dangerous than centering your life around your values that will make you act more authentically and confidently. Once you finish the episode, scroll down to review journal prompts to help you get to the root of your insecurities.

Topics covered:

What is main character energy and how can it transform your life?
Main character energy vs. narcissism: Understanding the crucial differences
Signs your insecurities are holding you back (and how to break free)
The psychology behind insecurity: Uncovering root causes for lasting change
Practical exercises to boost self-confidence and embrace your inner protagonist
How to cultivate main character energy without crossing ethical boundaries
The impact of social media on self-perception and insecurity
Strategies for maintaining authenticity while embodying main character energy
Building resilience: Turning insecurities into strengths
The role of mindfulness in overcoming insecurity and fostering self-acceptance
Navigating relationships with confidence: From insecurity to genuine connection
Self-care practices that combat insecurity and nurture your inner hero
How to rewrite your personal narrative and become the main character of your life
Expert tips for maintaining main character energy in challenging situations

Episode Description:

Spring is the season of rebirth, so with the eclipse/ new moon in the sign of Aries (the 1st sign of the zodiac), there is no better time to call in new energy. This spring (and by extension, summer) is all about hot girl (guy/person) energy and being the main character of our lives. We explore the concept of "main character energy," dispelling common misconceptions and highlighting its true meaning. Emphasize that "main character energy" is about aligning your decisions and actions with your values and living authentically. Lay also delves into the harmful effects of insecure behavior, societal beauty standards, cultural differences, and the importance of self-confidence.

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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4

Section	Timestamp	Notes
Introduction / Why I want to talk about this	00:00	-New moon in aries eclipse -represents being bold and taking action -Spring Welcomes New Beginnings
Misconceptions of main character energy	01:34	-Creating content for people with a growth mindset - How much of us is ourselves vs who we are conditioned to be -What is narcissism and how it differs from main character energy -Main character energy means living life according to your values
Having insecurities vs insecure behavior	06:59	-insecurities usually don't stem from us -projecting insecurities is insecure behavior
Letting go of insecure energy	09:41	-Not living an authentic life/ having genuine connections -Not being able to show up for yourself -Know-it-all energy/ constantly trying to prove themselves -Criticizing others -Jumping to negative conclusions/ taking things personally -Being closed-minded -The inability to be present
Embrace being the main character	15:22	-A good girls guide to murder by Holly Jackson -Honor values with good intentions
Card Pull	18:42	-Believe in your own magic oracle deck -The star card
What I'm grateful for	20:05	-Getting more rest

BONUS CONTENT:

Journal Prompts to

Uncover the Root of Insecurities

For days I was trying to figure out what would be the best bonus content for this topic. The number of times I started a post and ended up deleting it. I didn’t know where to start with the topic truthfully because there are different types of insecurities. The most common ones are typically about our bodies/ physical appearance. However, other insecurities are less obvious unless someone talks about it, like the insecurity of not being where they want in terms of a career or just feeling like their life is completely misaligned.

I didn’t want to make a post that promotes the idea that insecurities are easy to undo. I don’t know if it is completely possible to get rid of insecurities, but I do know how not to let them control our lives. Insecurities often act as invisible puppeteers, subtly guiding our actions and reactions in ways we might not even realize. I wanted to share some questions to reflect on.

When do I feel most insecure? Describe a recent situation in detail.
What negative beliefs about myself do I hold? Where might these beliefs have originated?
How have my past experiences shaped my current insecurities?
In what ways do my insecurities hold me back from achieving my goals?
How would my life be different if I didn't have these insecurities?
What triggers my feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt?
How do I typically react when feeling insecure? Is this reaction helpful or harmful?
What would I say to a friend experiencing the same insecurities as me?
What evidence do I have that contradicts my insecurities?
How can I challenge and reframe my negative self-talk?
What positive qualities do I possess that I often overlook?
How have my insecurities changed over time? Have any improved?
In what situations do I feel most confident? What can I learn from these moments?
How do my insecurities affect my relationships with others?
What would it look like to fully accept myself, insecurities and all?
How can I practice self-compassion when feeling insecure?
What steps can I take to build my self-esteem in a healthy way?
How do societal expectations contribute to my insecurities?
What would I like to achieve if I weren't held back by insecurities?
How can I create a support system to help me overcome my insecurities?
How do my insecurities make me feel emotionally? Can I describe these feelings in detail?
When was the last time I felt truly secure and content with myself? What changed?
If my insecurities had a voice, what would they say to me? How can I respond with self-compassion?
How have my insecurities affected my ability to form deep, meaningful connections with others?
What fears lie beneath my insecurities? How can I face these fears with courage?

I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also if you like my content it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your moods. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired and I will have more content for you soon.