19 lessons I learned in 19 years
I'm really sorry this is posted later than I usually post but.....
I’m finally 19! My birthday just passed on October 22nd. So I thought it would be a good idea to share what I learned each year of life so far. I know many people will still think I’m very young but even you are young can be observant and take the lessons life gives you. I know I haven’t seen the world yet or experience certain things yet but this is only a chapter of my life journey. I am really grateful for the lessons I learned and even though I spoke of some at the beginning of quartine, I never shared the things I learned over time and I hope this list can give some perspective.
1.Take your time but don’t waste your time
This is a phrase I got after reading Lupita Nyong o's tribute to Chadwick Boseman. From the moment I hear it, it was engraved as one of my favorite quotes. When I wrote my life-changing lessons in June, I spoke about how time felt really slowed down and how I am trying to make the most of things. The quarantine has taught me how to take my time to do things I really want to do and I use it as more of an opportunity. I feel like this quote is something I will carry with me through the years especially now that I'm at a time of life where I so focused on starting my career and really separating myself from the life of a teenager to the life of a young adult.
2.Trust your intuition
I thought of this when I realized how much my instincts are good. I am the type to change my answer on the test and then see when I get my score back that I originally had it correct. My intuition about other people is really good too. For instance, If I don't initially like someone because their energy was off and I try to get to know them, I usually end up the one getting hurt because I was right about them. Learning to trust yourself not only allows you to live your life with no regrets but to also protect yourself from things and people who are bad for you.
3.People are going to judge you regardless so do what you want
People will judge you for the good things you do and the mistakes that you make. You can't control what they think of you regardless if it's a positive impression or negative one. You have to live life on your own terms or you can miss out on things that can make feel happy or fulfilled. When I was thinking of this one I was mostly thinking about how lucky I am to be in college pursuing something I genuinely enjoy because the truth is some people force their kids down a certain career path that possibly isn’t right for them.
4.Bad days don’t equivalent a bad life
When people are having a hard time, their perception of the world often gets fogged. I’m not saying this is everyone but this is just my personal experience because for outsiders of your emotions, they just say you’re dramatic (which is more harmful than helpful) and I feel like with time a person will get out of that headspace because environments tend to have huge impacts on your perspective.
5.Your truth won’t be the same as everyone else
I remember in high school having a debate as to why perception is reality. I was on the side that "perception is reality" because if the perception wasn't, everyone would think exactly the same. What's right for me won't be particularly right for everyone else because of the factors that form my views as a person. People love to say they are always right but at the end of the day, unless it's something like science or math (aka something that requires hard facts and/or calculations), there will be multiple perceptions.
6.Find your passion
This is a big one for me because I talk to people who haven't found a passion. I understand not everyone can have their passion in their career (even if that's the ideal) but some people just don't find passion in life at all. Some people find it through writing (like me), art, music, building, designing, etc. There are so many ways to implicate hobbies into your lifestyle but some people just make that the first thing they sacrifice. Make time for things you love.
I grew up with my grandpa always telling me " No question is a dumb question". I wish many people (especially teachers who ridicule students for not understanding) would understand that the action of action question just shows a person wants to understand. By asking questions, a person is literally just trying to accomplish something whether it's understanding or getting something from someone.
8.Dont let others experience defy yours
As a person grows up, they get told stories from older people and while most of the time they have good intentions, such as wanting to protect a person from mistakes, they don't always end up with the best results. People sometimes become more scared and less ambitious to go for what they want because they hear stories about others' troubles and failures. Take what people say as a grain of salt and hear what they are saying but know that you as an individual are different and there are possibly different resources for you to be successful.
9.Give the same energy
It becomes draining to be the person always giving 100% to everyone, instead reflect what others give to you. Of course, always show kindness and respect at first but if you see someone's energy towards you decreasing ( and I mean out of blue of course and not if someone is going through something that's causing them to not be as there for you as you would like), it's healthy for you to take a step back.
10.Forgiveness isn’t just for other people
We are always taught to forgive other people but we don't teach how to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Instead, some people beat themselves up about it or replay it in their head, Take every mistake as a lesson: don't beat yourself up for your arrogance but instead ask what can I do next time and how do I improve myself from a situation.
11.Mental Health is probably the important thing that was not spoken about enough
Schools will preach about staying healthy but will completely disregard all aspects of health. They will encourage social interaction from a young age (i.e. the buddy system, field trip partners, etc.) to encourage group work. They will encourage us to be physically healthy by having a whole class dedicated to fitness and sports. When it comes to mental health, at least for me, I wasn't taught until middle school ( which was vague) and highschool ( more in-depth), but a lot of things I had to learn on my own about mental health. Mental health needs to be talked about from a young age so they can know how their words and actions can affect people, how to deal with overwhelming emotions, about even if they handle things differently than many other people it's okay because there are different methods to help someone cope, etc. Without mental health, a person can't live a sustainably happy life because poor mental health will burn you from the inside out. Mental health affects your physical and social health so maintaining yourself will benefit all aspects of your health.
12.Keep things private
People don't always have good intentions and will ask you about your life, but not because they genuinely care about you or your well-being. Some people only want to know what's going on in your life to: a) know that they are doing better than you and want to feel better about themselves b) to wish bad on you c) to have things to use against you. Of course, this is not everyone, but there can very well be an imposter in your life. Don't tell people what you're doing (unless you trust them without a doubt) and just do what you need to.
13.Whats meant for you will be
Don't try to force things, especially other people in your life. Life is not meant to be a state of constant pain, know your worth as a person is so valuable that if someone wants to walk out of your life, it's not the end of the world. You will find your people who value you just as much as you value them and the energy in those relationships (platonic or not) will be astronomical.
14.Set your boundaries
Boundaries are meant to keep the peace with other people and within yourself! If you don't have a line of where something is too much for you, people will take advantage until you are drained with no more energy left to give.
15.Be kind to everyone, but don’t trust everyone
Kindness is very subjective because I do believe in treating others how I would like to be treated but unless they give me a reason not to (aka like I explained in number 9 is I give back the same energy). You never know the life of the people you meet and you never know what can happen out of one kind interaction with someone. However, trust is something earned over time, and never trust anyone instantly.
16.Things happen when you least expect it
Always focus on your self and what is meant for you in life will happen because you are using your energy to attract it. When you work on yourself and your goals, love will eventually come, the right people who understand your ambitions will find you and opportunities will present itself.
17.Find things that work for you
What works for one person won't always work for you and vice versa. You can take this statement and apply it to anything. We are all different and there will be differences in what works for us physically and mentally and in overall different aspects of life.
18.Make changes little by little
When you rush to make changes, you are more likely to relapse into your old state because of how much pressure you put on yourselves to become different. You need to do it at your own time, on your own merits, and start small. Little things add up to big, sustainable changes.
19.There's always more to learn
As an advocate for education and a person who loves to learn new things, even if you think you are highly skilled in an aspect, you should always try to push to become the most skilled person in whatever you want to be. Even if you feel like you know everything, there is always more to discover and that is why new inventions keep getting made and new studies keep being found. Always be intellectually curious.
Before I completely end off I want to make a quick announcement. I'm having maybe be 3-4 more blog posts for this year. As you can tell I already got extremely busy because of school but besides that, I am making a lot of changes in the content I create from on this website to youtube and I wanted to give a disclaimer and not just leave. I have big plans and big goals but I can't speak on them too much until it happens but I just want to say thank you for reading my blog post and I'm really excited for all the new things to come in chapter 19!
I hope to see you on Saturday with a new post that I've been working on for a while! Don't forget to like comment and subscribe to this blog. I will probably be active on youtube or my social media sites so follow/ subscribe to those. Stay healthy and safe and just know I'm wishing the best for everyone.
Until next time,
xoxo Lay 💋
My last youtube video (don't forget to subscribe)